If I were couragous I would say everything on my mind. If I were couragous I would just let it fly and burn my bridges beyond repair. It shows toughness to hold your ground and argue unti the other person is tired of hearing your voice. Or does it? Is it courage or stupidity?
I bite my tongue more times in a day than I can count. By no means am I perfect or immune to an outburst now and then. But in my opinion, holding your tongue takes more courage than wielding it as a sword. Of course, it all depends on the circumstances. But really, how many good reasons do we have to argue incessantly? No, mostly we make up reasons and we create our own little soap opera dramas to keep us entertained and make us feel special. How sad.
Just because I don’t lash out at others doesn’t mean I hold things inside and let them fester. On the contrary, I unload all that is on my mind when I’m angry and upset. Not to my best friend, not to my husband, not to my mentor but to Allah (SWT). Take it to the prayer rug. That’s where you will find the only true relief and peace of mind. Hasbi Allahu Wa Nimal Al Wakil ”Allah Alone is Sufficient for us,and He is the Best Disposer of affairs(for us).”(3:173)
Narrated by Abu Musa Transmitted by Sahih BukhariSome people asked Allah’s Apostle (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wassallam), “Whose Islam is the best? i.e. (Who is a very good Muslim)?” He replied, “One who avoids harming the Muslims with his tongue and hands.”
Narrated byAslam Malik transmitted it in al-Muwatta.(Mishkat)
One day when Umar went in to visit AbuBakr as-Siddiq and found him pulling his tongue, he said, “Stop! Allah forgive you!” AbuBakr replied to him, “This has brought me down to dangerous places.”
Narrated by Abu Hurayrah Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah transmitted it. (Mishkat)
Allah’s Messenger (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wassallam) said, “Do you know the thing which most commonly brings people into Paradise? It is fear of Allah and good character. Do you know what most commonly brings people into Hell? It is the two hollow things: the mouth and the private parts.”
Narrated byAbuHurayrah Ahmad and Bayhaqi, in Shu’ab al-Iman, transmitted it. (Mishkat)
A man said, “Messenger of Allah (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wassallam), such and such a woman has a reputation for engaging to a great extent in prayer, fasting and almsgiving but she annoys her neighbours with her tongue.” He replied, “She will go to Hell.” He said, “Messenger of Allah (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wassallam), such and such a woman has a reputation for engaging to a small extent in fasting, almsgiving and prayer, but she gives pieces of curd as sadaqah and does not annoy her neighbours with her tongue.” He replied, “She will go to Paradise.”
So, maybe the person percieved as the coward is courageous after all and maybe failing to control our tongues in order to keep up a fake bravado is making us losers in this world and the Hereafter. We lose in this world by alienating friends and family. Because, really, who likes to be around someone who is constantly running off at the mouth. And we lose in the Hereafter, because one who talks so much is bound to make many mistakes such as backbiting, slandering, harming others with his or her tongue. Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in the moment. It’s easy to go along with someone who is backbiting or slandering and indulge in it yourself. It’s hard to step back in the face of an argument (especially when you know you have valid points) for the sake of keeping peace. But, as with anything good that we hope to acheive, we have to work for it. We have to struggle to overcome obstacles in order to reach the ultimate bliss, Paradise.
The Prophet (saw) said “Whoever can guarantee me two things I can guarantee them Paradise.” The companions asked “What O Messenger of Allah?” He replied “(That he can control) What is between his jaws (his tongue) and his legs (private parts).” (Bukhari)