An African Imam Breaks Ground In Mecca

 

 

 

 

 

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia

By ROBERT F. WORTH
Published: April 10, 2009

TWO years ago, Sheik Adil Kalbani dreamed that he had become an imam at the Grand Mosque in Mecca, Islam’s holiest city.

Waking up, he dismissed the dream as a temptation to vanity. Although he is known for his fine voice, Sheik Adil is black, and the son of a poor immigrant from the Persian Gulf. Leading prayers at the Grand Mosque is an extraordinary honor, usually reserved for pure-blooded Arabs from the Saudi heartland.

Read the full article here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/11/world/middleeast/11saudi.html?_r=1

Everyone Speaks of Good Things-

Abdullah b. Mas’ûd – May Allah be pleased with him – said:

Everyone speaks of good things. It is those whose words and deeds match who have acquired their share. Those whose words and deeds do not match have only reproached themselves.

Ibn Al-Mubârak, Al-Zuhd wa Al-Raqâ`iq Vol.1 p.153.

If I Were Courageous or Stupid

If I were couragous I would say everything on my mind. If I were couragous I would just let it fly and burn my bridges beyond repair. It shows toughness to hold your ground and argue unti the other person is tired of hearing your voice. Or does it? Is it courage or stupidity?

I bite my tongue more times in a day than I can count.  By no means am I perfect or immune to an outburst now and then. But in my opinion, holding your tongue takes more courage than wielding it as a sword. Of course, it all depends on the circumstances. But really, how many good reasons do we have to argue incessantly? No, mostly we make up reasons and we create our own little soap opera dramas to keep us entertained and make us feel special. How sad.

Just because I don’t lash out at others doesn’t mean I hold things inside and let them fester. On the contrary, I unload all that is on my mind when I’m angry and upset. Not to my best friend, not to my husband, not to my mentor but to Allah (SWT).  Take it to the prayer rug. That’s where you will find the only true relief and peace of mind.  Hasbi Allahu Wa Nimal Al Wakil   ”Allah Alone is Sufficient for us,and He is the Best Disposer of affairs(for us).”(3:173)

 

Narrated by Abu Musa Transmitted by Sahih BukhariSome people asked Allah’s Apostle (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wassallam), “Whose Islam is the best? i.e. (Who is a very good Muslim)?” He replied, “One who avoids harming the Muslims with his tongue and hands.”

 

Narrated byAslam Malik transmitted it in al-Muwatta.(Mishkat)

One day when Umar went in to visit AbuBakr as-Siddiq and found him pulling his tongue, he said, “Stop! Allah forgive you!” AbuBakr replied to him, “This has brought me down to dangerous places.”

Narrated by Abu Hurayrah Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah transmitted it. (Mishkat)

Allah’s Messenger (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wassallam) said, “Do you know the thing which most commonly brings people into Paradise? It is fear of Allah and good character. Do you know what most commonly brings people into Hell? It is the two hollow things: the mouth and the private parts.”

Narrated byAbuHurayrah Ahmad and Bayhaqi, in Shu’ab al-Iman, transmitted it. (Mishkat)

A man said, “Messenger of Allah (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wassallam), such and such a woman has a reputation for engaging to a great extent in prayer, fasting and almsgiving but she annoys her neighbours with her tongue.” He replied, “She will go to Hell.” He said, “Messenger of Allah (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wassallam), such and such a woman has a reputation for engaging to a small extent in fasting, almsgiving and prayer, but she gives pieces of curd as sadaqah and does not annoy her neighbours with her tongue.” He replied, “She will go to Paradise.”

So, maybe the  person percieved as the coward is  courageous after all and maybe failing to control our tongues in order to keep up a fake bravado is making us losers in this world and the Hereafter.  We lose in this world by alienating friends and family. Because, really, who likes to be around someone who is constantly running off at the mouth. And we lose in the Hereafter, because one who talks so much is bound to make many mistakes such as backbiting, slandering, harming others with his or her tongue. Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in the moment. It’s easy to go along with someone who is backbiting or slandering and indulge in it yourself. It’s hard to step back in the face of an argument (especially when you know you have valid points) for the sake of keeping peace. But, as with anything good that we hope to acheive, we have to work for it. We have to struggle to overcome obstacles in order to reach the ultimate bliss, Paradise.

 The Prophet (saw) said “Whoever can guarantee me two things I can guarantee them Paradise.” The companions asked “What O Messenger of Allah?” He replied “(That he can control) What is between his jaws (his tongue) and his legs (private parts).” (Bukhari)

Islam And Sex

Yeah, you read the title right. Islam and sex. No I don’t mean gender. This seems to be a topic that many imams and speakers don’t want to adress.  However, if you go to any fatwa site you will see scores of questions about sex. What is lawful and unlawful? Does the wife have rights over the man? What’s meant by angels curse a woman who doesn’t come to her husband’s bed when he calls? Those are some of the biggest questions that I have personally read.  Alhamdullilah, finally an imam has stepped up to the plate and decided to do an entire lecture series on the subject of Sex in Islam.

This course is now finished. However, you can review the videos/download the recordings from

www.sunnahfollowers.net

or

http://imamhasankhalil.wordpress.com/category/islam-sexual-relationship/

 

Topics discussed include:

importance of marriage
Sexual lust
sexual satisfaction for wives from an Islamic perspective
How to fulfill the husband sexual need during the menstrual cycle.
our prophet e the real husband
Islamic guide lines in intimate relations between husbands and wives
Real beauty in men and women according to Islam?
Real stories and light humor for all topics addressed
how can husbands and wives please each other
Permitted and forbidden sexual pleasures out side the wed lock.
Description of the best woman according to a Bedouin.
description of women according to age
How to choose your spouse according to Islam and a philosopher…And much more.

Sheikh Hasan Khalil is the Imam of Center Masjid in Arlington Texas
and also a regular speaker at sunnahfollowers.net

Great Women In Islam-The Hairdresser of Pharoah’s Daughter

It is narrated that Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said that the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad, (may Allah bless and grant him peace) said, “On the night in which I was taken by a night Journey, a pleasant fragrance came my way, and so I said, “O Gabriel! What is this pleasant fragrance?”

He said, “This is the fragrance of the hairdresser of Pharaoh’s daughter, and [of the hairdresser]’s children.”

 

This is her story as narrated in a lecture by Bilal Assad based on a hadith found in Ahmad and Ibn Majah (see source below):

There was a women called Mashit of Firoun, she was a women who was the hairdresser of Firouns daughter, Pharaoh who said, I did not know any god but me, and Mashit of Firoun, this hairdresser, she had embraced Islam in secret and when she was combing the hair of the daughter of pharaoh the king, one who said that he is god, the comb fell to the ground and then she automatically sub consciously picked up the comb and said, Bismillah, in the name of Allah.

And this Mashit of Firoun this hairdresser had five children and one of them was still breast feeding and then the daughter of Firoun said, Allah Abi, are you saying Allah my father? And she said, No! Allah, the god of your father
and yourself and me and she became angry, she went to her father and said to him:
Father, this woman worships another god besides you, he said: What?
She knows another god besides me, who is that? Call her to me, and they called her to him.

And she came and stood, a woman, a woman brothers and sisters in front of this great Pharaoh. And he said to her, who is your god? And she said, Allah is my lord. He said who is Allah?
She said Allah is my god and yours. Yes, she was cornered and put in a place, when she had to answer, she answered, this how the state of the Mumin in the past and present are. When they said, Allah is my lord, they were tortured.

But we dont care.

Because we know what were heading towards, we know who are lord is and
we say what we believe, were not liars.

She said Allah, Allah is my lord and yours. And they said what? Bring the chains!
They brought the chains, they begun to punish her and whip her, who is your lord and she will say Allah is my lord and yours.

 
And so he ordered for them to bring a large container and he spilt boiling oil in to this container,  a large container like a swimming pool, and then he said, bring me all her children!
And they brought them one by one and he said worship me, I am your lord.
She said, never! So he brought her first son and he threw him in to the oil,
in front of her eyes his meat and his flesh fell of his body and his bone disintegrated, and then they brought her next son and she was firm, Allahu Akbar! They burnt him; she could not stop them, and then her third and then her fourth and finally her fifth, he was on her arm and she was about to pull back, she was about to pull back in front of the eyes of all the people and when all of a sudden and this is the Hadis of the prophet Muhammad (SAW), he said, all of a sudden, Allah (SWT) from above seven skies made her child speak while he was in the cradle, he said: Be patient my mother, you are in the truth, Allah Allah has promised you with a great heaven, keep going mother.
And then they threw her son in to the boiling oil and she was next,
she knew that she was going to die, and then she begun to cry and Pharaoh said, why are you crying?
Stop! And she said, I was crying because I want to ask you to do something for me, and I dont know if youre going to do it, he said, ask me for whatever you like, she said, once you throw me in to the oil, then I want you to gather whatever is remaining of our bodies and I want you to bury us together in the same grave, because I want to be resurrected with my children and I want to go to Jannah with my children.

 Video of her story:

Hadith can be found: Imam Ahmad has narrated in his Musnad (Book of Hadith 1/310) [and a similar narration is in Ibn Majah (4020)]

Categorize The People In Your Life

Unnecessary companionship is a chronic disease that causes much harm. How often have the wrong kind of companionship and intermixing deprived people of Allâh’s generosity, planting discord in their hearts which even the passage of time-even if it were long enough for mountains to be worn away-has been unable to dispel. In keeping such company one can find the roots of loss, both in this life and in the next life.

A servant should benefit from companionship. In order to do so he should divide people into four categories, and be careful not to get them mixed up, for once one of them is mixed with another, then evil can find its way through to him:

The FIRST category are those people whose company is like food: it is indispensable, night or day. Once a servant has taken his need from it, he leaves it be until he requires it again, and so on. These are the people with knowledge of Allâh-of His commands, of the scheming of His enemies, and of the diseases of the heart and their remedies- who wish well for Allâh, His Prophet saw and His servants. Associating with this type of person is an achievement in itself.

The SECOND category are those people whose company is like a medicine. They are only required when a disease sets in. When you are healthy, you have no need of them. However, mixing with them is sometimes necessary for your livelihood, businesses, consultation and the like. Once what you need from them has been fulfilled, mixing with them should be avoided.

The THIRD category are those people whose company is harmful. Mixing with this type of person is like a disease, in all its variety and degrees and strengths and weaknesses. Associating with one or some of them is like an incurable chronic disease. You will never profit either in this life or in the next life if you have them for company, and you will surely lose either one or both of your deen and your livelihood because of them. If their companionship has taken hold of you and is established, then it becomes a fatal, terrifying sickness.

Amongst such people are those who neither speak any good that might benefit you, nor listen cloesly to you so that they might benefit from you. They do not know their souls and consequently put their selves in their rightful place. If they speak, their words fall on their listeners’ hearts like the lashes of a cane, while all the while they are full of admiration for and delight in their own words.

They cause distress to those in their company, while believing that they are the sweet scent of the gathering. If they are silent, they are heavier than a massive millstone-too heavy to carry or even drag across the floor. 

All in all, mixing with anyone who is bad for the soul will not last, even if it is unavoidable. It can be one of the most distressing aspects of a servant’s life that he is plagued by such person, with whom it may be necessary to associate. In such a relationship, a servant should cling to good behaviour, only presenting him with his outward appearance, while disguising his inner soul, until Allâh offers him a way out of his affliction and the means of escape from this situation.

The FOURTH category are those people whose company is doom itself. It is like taking poision: its victim either finds an antidote or perishes. Many people belong to this category. They are the people of religious innovation and misguidance, those who abandon the sunnah of the Messenger of Allâh saw and advocate other beliefs. They call what is the sunnah a bid’a and vice-versa. A man with any intellect should not sit in their assemblies nor mix with them. The result of doing so will either be the death of his heart or, at the very best, its falling seriously ill.

Taken from the book “Purification of the Soul”, one of the great books on the matters of the heart. The book is a compilation of the works of Ibn Rajab al-Hanbalî, Ibn Al-Qayyim al-Jawzî and Abî Hamîd al-Ghazalî

Be Like the Bee

 

by Ibn Qayyim al Jawziyyah

As people are content with the world, so you should be content with Allaah. As they are delighted by the world, so you should be delighted with Allaah. As they are intimate with their loved ones, so you should seek intimacy with Allaah. As they desire to know their kings and their leaders, and to draw near to them in order for honor and status to be conferred on them, so you should come to know Allaah and seek His love, this will lead to the utmost honor and distinction.

Said one of the zuhhåd: “I can never imagine that someone could hear about Paradise and Hellfire and can still waste an hour without performing any act of obedience to Allaah; neither remembrance, prayer, reciting Quraan nor an act of charity or kindness.”

Someone said to him: “I weep profusely.”

He replied: “That you laugh while confessing your sin is better than weeping yet being puffed-up with pride because of your deeds. For the deeds of a conceited person will never rise above his head.”
The person then requested: “Please counsel me.”

So he replied: “Leave the world to those who hanker after it, as they leave the Afterlife to its seekers. And be in this world as the bee: it eats only good, produces only good, and when it rests upon anything it neither ruins it nor deflowers it.”

Al Fawaa-id, Ibn al Qayyim al Jawziyyah (rahimahullaah) , Pg.187

An Excellent Example of Patience and Thankfulness

Abu Qilaaba al-Jurmiyy, the companion of Ibn ‘Abbaas

Narrated Imaam Al-Awzaa’ee from Abdullaah ibn Muhammad who said: “One day I set out to the shore on patrol; and those days we were stationed at Al ‘Arish [A town in N. Egypt], thus when I came to the end of the shore, I saw a small tent [at a distance – in the desert] so I set out for it.

Inside it there was a man who had lost his hands, and had lost his legs, and his sight and hearing had become heavy due to the affliction he had – thus there was not anything [more realistically] beneficial to him than his tongue.

And he was saying: ‘O, Allaah enable [and facilitate] for me that I praise and thank You, the praise which equates thanking You for the blessings which You have bestowed on me and gave me excellence to many more of whom You created.”

So I [was amazed and] said to myself: ‘By Allaah, I have to approach this man and ask him, from among the favors and blessings; what does he really have!? [While he is in this state!] Why is he saying these words? Does he have understanding, or knowledge of what he is saying!? Or is it just desires!?

So I approached the men and gave him the salaams [greetings of peace] and I said to him: ‘I heard you and you were saying: ‘O, Allaah enable [and facilitate] for me that I praise and thank You, the praise which equates thanking You for the blessings which You have bestowed on me and gave me excellence to many more of whom You created.’ So what favors and blessings do you [really] have [while you are in this state!!] and what excellences has He favored you with such that you praise Him because of them?’

So he replied: ‘Even on top of all what you see [of my deficiencies]; If Allaah was to send a fire from the sky to burn me, or commanded the mountains to crash me, or ordered the seas to drown me, and ordered the earth such that it swallows me: I would not increase except in thanking and praising my Lord – due to what He has favored me with – of a tongue [which I use to worship Him] !!

So, O slave of Allaah; as you have come here – and as you see my state – I have a need from you: as you see I have no capability over myself in benefitting or harm. But I have my son who comes to me at the time of prayers and he helps me in making Wudhoo for my prayers, and when I am hungry he feeds me, and when I thirst he gives me to drink: But I have not seen him for three days now – so help me by looking for him, may Allaah have mercy on you.’

So I said: ‘By Allaah there is no one who can get a better reward from Allaah by going out to help someone who is most worthy of being helped than someone

like you.’

Thus I set out looking for the son, and I had not gone a far distance when in between two sand-dunes I found a boy who had been attacked by a beast of prey and it killed him for meat ! I was in shock, and very overwhelmed in emotion.

And I said to myself, in what way shall I approach this man to explain to him this [while he is that state !]?

And after some time, I remembered the prophet Ayyoob (may peace be on him) [and how he was tried].

So I returned to the man, and entered; gave him salaams, and he replied the salaams and he said: ‘Aren’t you my friend? [I.e. you are the same person who was here right?]’

And I replied: ‘Indeed.’

So he said: ‘What happened to what I asked of you?’

And I replied: ‘Are you more excellent –in front of Allaah- or is the Prophet Ayyoob [May peace be on him]?’

He replied: ‘Of course, the Prophet Ayyoob [may peace be on him] is.’

Then I said: ‘You know what Allaah did with Him, how He tested him through his wealth, his family, and his children?’

He replied: ‘Of course.’

So I said: ‘And how did He find him?’

He replied: ‘Patient, Thankful, and Praising His Lord.’

So I said: ‘And that was until after [his trial was so hard that] his friends and his relatives abandoned him, do you know that?’

He replied: ‘Yes.’

So I said: ‘And that was until after [his trial was so hard that] the passers-by used to look down upon him [Ayyoob, due to the state he was in], do you know that?’

He replied: ‘Yes.’

So I said: ‘And how did his Lord find him?’

He replied: ‘Patient, Thankful, and Praising His Lord. May Allaah have mercy on you; Be concise.’

Thus I said: ‘The boy you sent me to search for, I found him in between two sand-dunes; and had been attacked by a beast of prey and it killed and ate him! So may Allaah bestow on you patience and increase you in reward!’

So he said: ‘All perfect praise is for Allaah who did not create from my off-spring those who would become open sinners such that they would have to be punished by the fire.’

Then he said the istirjaa’ [We are from Allaah, and to Him we shall all return (legislated to be said at times of calamity)], and [suddenly] he gave out some groans, and he then fell dead ! Indeed we are from Allaah, and to Him we shall all return !!

My calamity and despair just became greater. [What shall I do??]

A man like this, if I leave him here he will be eaten by the beasts, and even if I was to stay here; I cannot do anything! I cannot benefit nor harm!

So I covered him, with a cover [blanket] he had, and I sat there on the side of his head; crying. [After some time] While I am still in that state; I notice the approaching of four horse-men, and [when they got to me] they inquired: ‘O servant of Allaah, what is with you? And what is your story [why are you like this]?’ So I narrated to them my encounter. And then they said to me : ‘Un-cover his face, maybe we might recognize him.’

And I did just that; when the man fell down: and kissed the [dead] man’s hands at time, and kissed his forehead at times!!

And they were saying: ‘My may father be ransomed for you; Eyes which were restrained from the prohibitions of Allaah, My may father be ransomed for you; his body endured in worship while people would be sleeping!! ‘

So I said to them: ‘May Allaah have mercy on you, who is this man!?’

They replied: ‘This is Abu Qilaaba al-Jurmiyy, the companion of Ibn ‘Abbaas. He used to have immense love for the Prophet (sallahAllaahu alayhi wasallam).’

Then we washed him, and shrouded him with some clothing that we had, and we prayed over him, and then buried him…

And the men left and I went away; back to my resting-place.

During that night, when I was sleeping; I saw in a dream: that the [same] man was in a garden from the gardens of Paradise, dressed up from the beautiful adornments of paradise, and he was reciting in a tarteel [slow, rhythmic, correct form of recitation] :

“Salâmun ‘Alaikum (peace be upon you) for that you persevered in patience! Excellent indeed is the final home!” [1]

So I said: ‘Aren’t you my companion [whom I encountered today]?’

He replied: ‘Yes. Of course.’

So I said: ‘So how is all this!?’

He said : ‘Indeed Allaah Has kept degrees which cannot be achieved except by patience in the times of difficulty, and being thankful [and humble] during the times of ease – and [while in both these situations] – having fear of Allaah [by observing his commands] in private and in company of others.’

Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham)’s Sacrifice

From the Qur’an (in the English Translation of the meaning) Surah Saffat Ayats 82-112)

(82) And lo! of his (Nuh-Noah)’s persuasion verily was Abraham

 (83) When he came unto his Lord with a whole heart;

(84) When he said unto his father and his folk: What is it that ye worship?

(85) Is it a falsehood – gods beside Allah – that ye desire?

(86) What then is your opinion of the Lord of the Worlds?

 (87) And he glanced a glance at the stars

(88) Then said: Lo! I feel sick!

 (89) And they turned their backs and went away from him.

(90) Then turned he to their gods and said: Will ye not eat?

(91) What aileth you that ye speak not?

(92) Then he attacked them, striking with his right hand.

(93) And (his people) came toward him, hastening.

(94) He said: Worship ye that which ye yourselves do carve

(95) When Allah hath created you and what ye make?

(96) They said: Build for him a building and fling him in the red-hotfire.

(97) And they designed a snare for him, but We made them the undermost.

(98) And he said: Lo! I am going unto my Lord Who will guide me.

(99) My Lord! Vouchsafe me of the righteous.

 (100) So We gave him tidings of a gentle son.

(101) And when (his son) was old enough to walk with him, (Abraham) said: O my dear son, I have seen in a dream that I must sacrifice thee. So look, what thinkest thou? He said: O my father! Do that which thou art commanded. Allah willing, thou shalt find me of the steadfast.

(102) Then, when they had both surrendered (to Allah), and he had flung him down upon his face,

(103) We called unto him: O Abraham!

(104) Thou hast already fulfilled the vision. Lo! thus do We reward the good.

 (105) Lo! that verily was a clear test.

 (106) Then We ransomed him with a tremendous victim.

(107) And We left for him among the later folk (the salutation):

 (108) Peace be unto Abraham!

(109) Thus do We reward the good.

(110) Lo! he is one of Our believing slaves.

(111) And we gave him tidings of the birth of Isaac, a prophet of the righteous.

(112) And We blessed him and Isaac. And of their seed are some who do good, and some who plainly wrong themselves.

 

Recitation w/English subtitles by: Sheikh Salah Al-Hashem(Ayah 75-132): 

 

Video Lecture-The Sacrifice by Dr. Ibrahim Dremali:

 

Also check out this link for some great info. insh’Allah:

http://www.islamonline.net/English/Eid_AlAdha/1428/topic_02/index.shtml

 

Ten Tips To Be A Sucessful Muslim Husband

Prophet Muhammad (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said, “the best amongst you are the ones who are best to their wives.” So dear Muslim brother! Your obligations towards your wife are not limited to earning money and supporting her financially. A wife needs love from her husband, and emotional support too!

10 Tips on How to Be a Successful Husband

Note: Additions in brackets are notes from a sister.

Prepared by Muhammad Alshareef, reprinted from Islamway.com.

1) Dress Up

Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasulullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

(Dress up for your wife when you are at home also. Some brothers only dress up when they go out and that is not a good practice. A husband should dress up for his wife when they are at home. it makes a wife feel special.)

2) Sweet Names

Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasulullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

(Remember, you are your wife’s only boyfriend, and her only best friend. She does not go out seeking boyfriends and she shares a halal relationship with you. Love her unconditionally for the sake of Allah. And express your love to her. A woman likes to be told that she is loved. Call her from your work to make sure she is doing fine. I have seen my dad calling my mother several times a day, just to make sure she has been eating well. And my husband calls me at least twice from work to make sure I am doing well. These things are very important in a relationship.)

3) Reward Her Actions

Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day – which brings no attention from the husband – until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

(Whenever there is a fight or argument, just remember all the things she does for you. she cooks for you, she takes care of your home, she takes care of your children and the most important thing is that she guards her modesty. So do not upset her if she is upset with you. Hold her and tell her that you love her. Only your love can repel her anger. Communicate with her and discuss with her if there are any misunderstandings.)

4) Remain Silent

If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasulullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives (رضالله عنهنّ). It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

(Do not criticize her all the time. Trust her and trust her decisions. If she is doing something that you don’t like, or that goes against the teachings of Islam, then do advice her gently.)

5) Smile!

Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasulullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.

(Do let your wife know that you are very happy and blessed to have her. A wife always wonder how her husband feels about her. She may have some insecurity about you, so make her feel secure. Always give her a hug whenever you come back from work. appreciate her and thank her for taking care of everything whole day. If you are not too tired, go out for star gazing for an hour or so.)

6) Acknowledge Her

Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgment she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!

(Write thank you notes for her and place those notes in her books, her purse, her socks, and anything else that belongs to her. You can use your own creativity to thank her. You can thank her by writing something on a mirror with her lipstick, so that she can read it when she wakes up in the morning. You can also thank her by arranging a candlelight dinner AT HOME, you be the cook and let her rest. So far I have learned that a nice romantic dinner at home is much better than going out for dinner. This way a couple saves themselves from many fitnahs. You can thank her by writing her letters and emails. Remember, in Islam, everyday is special. So celebrate wife’s day with her, and do it very often without having a particular date. She will always wonder when the wife’s day is going to be.

You can also give her a certificate of appreciation, or a Best Wife Award on wife’s day. Do everything by yourself that day and let her rest, this way you will also know how difficult it could be to do household chores. Thank her by building a webpage for her, write a note there and a poem and then ask her to visit your webpage. Thank her by recording a voice message on a cd for your wife. She will love it!

Thank her by giving her a gift, and a gift does not have to be expensive. Be creative! You do not have to give her Roses, you can give her a leaf too! (My husband gave me a leaf once, instead of roses, and I was very happy and surprised, and I appreciated his creativity). So remember, thoughtful and creative gifts makes a wife feel secure and happy. Thank her by ordering a halal pizza for her, ask the restaurant to cut it in a heart shape and have it delivered with a personalized note. Thank her by thanking her in a family gathering. A woman likes it when her husband gives her attention.

If you visit her parents or your parents, hold her hands and tell your parents how happy you are after marriage. Give your wife an Islamic book as a gift after praying Tahajjud. Use your imagination and think about unique gifts. Remember, she does not need a diamond, she needs your sincerity and your heart, so always give her the gifts that are thoughtful. Whenever you do something to make her happy, observe her facial expressions and ask yourself about how you feel when you become her happiness.)

7) Ten Blessings From Allah

Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game–ask her and work on repeating those things in your life.

(Also ask her to write down the things you did that she did not like, or the things you did that made her unhappy. Try to not do those things in future. If she falls ill, let her lay down, and read different surahs from Qur’an while placing your hand on her forehead. When I got sick, my husband recited Qur’an for me, it really helped a lot mashaAllah. Remember, a wife needs her husband the most when she is not feeling well. Take good care of her because a healthy wife makes a healthy family. Do not expect too much from her when she is sick.)

Validate her Feelings

Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasulullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (رضالله عنها) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

(If there is a time of sadness, give her your shoulder to cry on. Hold her and tell her that everything will be fine. Alhamdulillah, my husband and my dad are amongst those Muslim husbands who would even have tears in their eyes if their wives are sad. Remember, a woman does not like to cry alone in a corner. She needs someone to hold her when she is sad, so never let her feel lonely. Remind her the verses from Qur’an that talks about Patience and Piety.)

9) Have Fun!

Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how Rasulullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) would race his wife Aisha (رضالله عنها) in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

(A sense of humor plays a very important role in a marital relationship. Most women wish to have a husband who has a good sense of humor. Tell her decent and modest jokes that make her happy. A wife appreciates it very much if her husband makes her smile. You can play various games at home. Play with crayons, or have a pillow fight. Or hide different notes in your bedroom and ask her to find it. Think of different games you can both play. Let her win sometimes!

Adopt interesting hobbies, such as reading, cooking together and gardening (grow a surprise rose plant in your garden, when you have the first rose blooming, take her to the garden and show it to her. Newspaper and Sports Issue! Men like to watch sports, or read newspaper. Most Pakistani wives consider newspaper as their co-wives. So be very careful. If you are watching sports, turn the TV off if your wife comes around. Give her attention. Do not spend too much time reading newspaper, and do not read newspaper on the breakfast table, rather have an Islamic discussion. If you want to get her to like newspaper, then try to find something that interests her. Such as, try to find a news about Hijab. Or try to find a news about Muslim women for her.)

10) Be The Best

Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم): “The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Try to be the best! In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta’ala knows best!

(And once again: your wife is your best friend, and your girlfriend. Share everything with her. Remember she is your garment and you are her garment, so hide her faults and mistakes. Learn to forgive her. Also communicate a lot with her family. It really makes a difference if husband communicates with his in laws. It helps both husband’s and wife’s family to share a beautiful relationship. Respect her parents and show your love to her family. This will inspire her to love and respect your family. If her family is not muslim, do dawah to them in a beautiful way.)

Spend lots of time praying to Allah swt. Do fast often even if it is not Ramadan. Fasting brings patience and taqwah. Lead her in the prayer. There is nothing better than praying together. Remember Allah, so that Allah remembers you.

May Allah bless us and guide us all. Ameen!

References

Alshareef, Muhammad. “[10 Tips] How to Be a Successful Husband.” IslamWay. 24 Apr. 2007 <http://english.islamway.com/bindex.php?section=article&id=103>.

My Sister El Kawthar posted this first at: http://elkawthar.wordpress.com/ten-tips-towards-being-a-successful-husband/

Also check out her other posts in both Dutch and English!