Practice What You Preach!

Many Muslims go around in internet chat rooms and through the streets preaching Islam. They are quick to offer their advice and enjoin the good and forbid the evil. They will severely chastise the person who drinks, smokes, failes to lower their gaze, etc. Yet, if you were to see into these people’s personal lives you may find that they are indulging in the very things they are going around criticizing. The same people who may encourage fasting, prayer and giving in charity may in fact be missing prayers out of laziness, cheating during ramadan, and hoarding his/her wealth. I’m not saying that this is most people or even the majority of people. I’m just saying it happens, unfortunately. This is a severe sin in Islam and comes with a horrific punishment:

The Prophet (saw) said: …”A man will be brought on the Day of Resurrection and thrown in the (hell) Fire, so that his intestines will come out, and he will go around like a donkey goes around a millstone. The people of (hell) Fire will gather around him and say: O so-and-so! What is wrong with you? Didn’t you use to order us to do good deeds and forbid us to do bad deeds? He will reply: Yes, I used to order you to do good deeds, but I did not do them myself, and I used to forbid you to do bad deeds, yet I used to do them myself.”  (Bukhari,Book #54, Hadith #489)

So, let us think before we speak.  The Prophet(saw) said: the two things that will lead the most people to hell is failure to control their tongue (speech) and private parts(illegal intercourse) (agreed.). Before we are so quick to criticize the sister in the masjid for gossiping, we better check ourselves and make sure that we don’t gossip. Before we go into an internet chatroom and criticize people who speak alone with the opposite sex, we better evaluate ourselves and make sure that we aren’t sitting up IMing and flirting with non mahram men.

In other words we need to practice what we preach!

Should Muslims Apologize?

A few days ago someone asked me: “Why don’t all you Muslims apologize for all this terrorism?”

First of all, two definitions that I want everyone to understand. To condemn: The act of speaking out against something, To apologize: The act of asking forgiveness for something. Understanding these two definitions in of itself should be enough to answer the question.

To apologize for something would imply that I carried out or aided in an injustice which is simply not true. You see, i do not know any of these terrorists nor do I wish to know them. I have never met them. I don’t subscribe to their twisted ideologies or murderous ways. Moreover, this is the case with millions of other Muslims worldwide. Most of us have no similarities with these people whatsover. We had no part in their plans. We had no idea what they were plotting. We felt the horror and agony along with everyone else.

So, why should we be made to feel like we have committed the crime along with them when in actuality we are victims? When these people carry out their horrific crimes, we are made to look like villans. It is the idea in some religions that people can bear the crimes of others. An example of how absurd this idea is: If a woman (completely unknown to me) goes into a bank one day and robs it should I apologize because I am also a woman, should all women then apologize? No way! This should be obvious.

Now, the second part. Condemnation. Why aren’t the Muslims speaking out and condemning these acts? That is the question. I wish I had the answer. I can say in my own community that this issue is adressed every opportunity. The leaders warn the young Muslims not to get caught up in terrorism and not to be “sweet talked” by these wolves who go around praying on our youth, filling their heads with ideas of fame and grandour. When, in reality, the Prophet(saw) said: Anyone who kills himself will be killing himself over and over with the method he used in the Hereafter (example: he blows himself up in this word then that’s what he will be doing in the Hereafter) (Bukhari) and in the Qur’an it is clearly mentioned that there is to be no innocent lives taken and the punishment for doing so is severe.

I have also noticed Islamic organizations such as CAIR, ISNA, etc. speak out against terrorism. However, I rarely see this make the news. If anything, it is running across the bottom of the screen in tiny letters while the main story is about the acts of terror that is being carried out. Occasionaly, the press conferences they hold speaking out against terrorism is airedon C-SPAN. Rarely, an Islamic representive will be brought on one of these major news shows and will try to condemn these acts, though, usually the interviewer cuts him/her off mid-sentence. The sad fact is, terror sells and those of us who readily speak out against terrorism are not being heard. So, why aren’t more Muslims speaking out? Maybe because they aren’t being heard or broadcast.

This is the question all of us Muslims need to be asking ourselves: Are we doing everything in our power to speak out against terrorism and bring our brothers and sisters in Islam back to the Qur’an and Sunnah? Or are we siting idly by while Islam is being misinterpreted as a religion of violence and hate?

Here are the questions for the non Muslims: Are you willing to blame an entire religion for the actions carried out by a few? Are you willing to put the Muslims who speak out on the front page of the news? Are you willing to take these press conferences off of C-Span and have them on CNN, FOX, or MSNBC? Are you really listening to those of us who try to speak out against terrorism?

To read some of the open condemnations of terrorism by Muslims:

http://www.cair-net.org/html/911statements.html

http://www.whyislam.org/877/Social_Order/Muslim_Condemnation_of_Terrorism.asp
 

Common Trials and Tests We Endure When Visiting Non Muslim Famliy

Well, Alhamdullilah we made it home safely. My visit with my father was, well…..ok. It wasn’t great but it could have been worse. Although, I have to admit that I have an excellent relationship with most of my non muslim family. Still, sometimes there is the uncertainity of what kind of reception I’m going to receive.  As a convert, going back home to visit your non Muslim family can be like opening up a grab bag. You aren’t sure if they will be happy to see you, in religious convert back to your previous religion NOW mode, or crying about how they’ve failed you. Ok, maybe that’s being dramatic but It sure feels like that’s how it is sometimes. Alhamdullilah(All Praise and Thanks is for Allah) this visit was the happy to see me one.

As a convert visitng home we have to deal with much fitnah(trials). Here are a couple of the trials I have to endure most often with my family and how I attempt to deal with them. Unfortuneatly, I’m sure some of them may apply to the born muslims as well.

1.) Gossip. This is by far the most common one for me. It seems everytime I visit my eager relatives are most concerned to give me the latest news. Your best friend from middle school is now doing this, your great aunt did that, your sister was seen here with (fill in the blank). It is so annoying and most of all, tempting to listen in and respond with your shocked expressions. After all, how often do you get to see these people?

Well, first a definition of backbiting given by the Prophet(saaw)-Anything true that is said about a person that they would not want mentioned. Slander-anything UNTRUE said about a person behind their back.

Allah likens backbiting in the Qur’an to eating the flesh of your dead brother. It is that disgusting!!! AstagfirAllah(May Allah forgive us)!

The Prophet(saw) said that he saw people in Hell scratching themselves with iron nails on their chests and faces. He asked who they were and was told the gosippers(Abu Dawud) Also, the Prophet(saw) said that the two most common sins that we’ll be punished for in the grave is not cleaning ourselves properly after going to the toilet and backbiting/slander(Bukhari,Muslim).

So, what are we to do when we are faced with this. Well, Allah describes that believers as: “And when they hear Al-Laghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk) they withdraw from it.” (28:55) Now, we are dealing with non Muslims here in my case Christians. So, I gently remind them of what their Bible says about gossip and backbiting and remind them of their mantra “do unto others as you would have others do unto you”:

“They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips.” (Romans 1:29NIV)

1 Timothy 5:13 – “Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.” (NIV)

The second biggest fitnah I have to endure is pressure to remove my hijab. I know that I don’t have to wear the hijab with the mahrams. However, If I am going anywhere as a group they usually become really embarrassed and ask me to remove my hijab and dress “normal”.  Well, this can be extremely difficult.  You want to be pleasing to your family and not cause them any unnecessary embarassment but on the other hand your uptmost obedience is due to Allah since it will be Him that you return and answer for your deeds. I try to remind myself of this fact and remind myself that there is no obedience to anything or anyone that goes against Allah(swt)’s obligatons over us. I have to remind myself to be strong and remember how the companions of the prophet also suffered much at the hands of their family and people.  I remind them that the hijab is not something new. In fact, the Christian women were also ordered to cover in the Bible(again my family are christians):

1 Corinthians, 11:5: ….but any woman who prays or prophesies with her head unveiled,Dishonors her head- it is the same as if her head were shaven.

1 Corinthians, 11:6:—-For if a woman will not veil herself, then she should cut-off her Hair: but if it is disgraceful for a woman to be shorn or shaven(it is considered to be a sign of disgrace to have the head shaven for a woman as her beauty is in her hair), let  her wear a veil. ,

1 Corinthians11:10 –That is why a woman ought to have a veil on her head, because  Of the angels.

1 Corinthians, 11:13 –Judge for yourself: is it proper for a woman to pray to God with  Her head uncovered?

My family brings this issue up less and less nowadays (Alhamdullilah!) As I was riding with my sister to visit my dad my neice said to me in the car: “You know when I was in children’s church i wore a veil like you are wearing. I had to march around the wall.” Mash’Allah, it was so cute.

May Allah help us all to remain firm and steadfast and put our obedience to Him first. ameen.

Saudi Car Crash

At the time of death

By Maimoona Batool

This is a story of a Muslim police officer in Saudi Arabia. Since he dealt with traffic accidents, it became his path to return to Allah Almighty. The officer writes:

“Very often when there’s a traffic accident and there’s no time for the ambulance to come, we would know that the person’s going to die. As a rookie officer, my senior and I once came across an accident while we were on patrol. One of the two cars had gone into the opposite lane with the head-on collision. In one of the cars were two youth and in the other car we had found that the other person had died. We took the bodies of those youth one by one, gently, away from the car and we sat there until we realised that they were going to die. The senior officer who had experience with this took the advantage of helping those youth say “La ilaha illallah…” And he would say softly to them, “Say La ilaha illallah.” So that it would be the final words they would say before they died. As the Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) said: “Whoever’s last words are ‘La ilaha illallah…’ shall enter paradise.”

“And as I sat there, I saw something very horrific and what it was is that those youth, every time they were told to say “La ilaha illallah…” all they would reply is they would continue to sing the song that they were listening to in the car. And they kept on singing it and they wouldn’t acknowledge “La ilaha illallah…”

You may have heard of this in the past because it’s not something that happens once and never happens again. People, during their last moment, when their tongues are sealed, only their hearts begin speaking. And so those youth, who didn’t live the life of “La ilaha illallah…” they didn’t die upon it. When it came down to what’s in their hearts, what came out was the songs that they were listening to.

That incident helped the officer to come back to Allah Almighty. But as time passed, he forgot, until six months later another incident happened that changed him for the rest of his life. He narrates this incident:

“There was a young adult who was driving on the outskirts of Riyadh, in Saudi Arabia and while he was driving through one of the tunnels, he had a flat tire. The car was handicapped to the shoulder and as he turned to get the spare tire from the back of his car, another car came whistling by from behind, from around the corner and smashed into his car with the boy in the middle. When we were called to the scene, we immediately saw the horrific collision that had taken place in the tunnel. We blocked off the tunnel, took the boy and while carrying him, we heard him humming something. In our effort to get him to the hospital quickly we weren’t paying attention to what he was saying but when we got into the car, we started understanding what he was saying. The boy, in the sweetest recitation, was reciting the Holy Qur’aan.”

He was reciting the Holy Qur’aan that he had memorised in the car. The officer said, “I never heard a more beautiful recitation than that. And you have to realise that he’s on his death bed now and he’s going to meet Allah Almighty in a few moments; the only thing that came back to him was the life that he had lived–the Holy Qur’aan that he learnt came back to him and he started reciting.”

The officer continues: “I was going to do my best and help him say “La ilaha illallah…” like I’ve seen my other brother try to help those other people say the ‘shahada’ (the testimony of faith that there is no one to worship except the one and only Allah and Prophet Muhammad is His Messenger). The recitation continued until it went quiet and then I turned around and looked at the boy. The boy had his hand raised to the heavens and he was saying “La ilaha illallah Muhammad-ur-Rasul-ullah.”

“He didn’t need any help from someone, he knew it in his heart and he lived it. He followed what Allah Almighty taught him and he followed the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam). And in those last moments it came out, and then he put his hand down. He had stopped reciting, he had died. I started crying but I tried hiding my tears. I then told the other officer, who was driving, that he had died and then he started crying. When I saw him crying I couldn’t’ stop crying and the entire scene was just so emotional. We took the boy inside the hospital and he was pronounced dead on arrival. When everyone saw us crying we told them what had happened to this boy.

“When we later phoned the boy’s home, his brother picked up the phone and we told him about the accident. The brother then started telling us about this young man: Where he was going out to was a town where his grandmother lived, on the outskirts of Riyadh. He would go to visit his grandmother every week and would make sure to visit the orphans in that town. He would also make sure that he would spend time with all the little children that were playing in the street. The entire town knew him because he would bring Islamic books and tapes for them and give Dawah to those children. In this town there were many poor and needy Muslims and for them he would fill up the back of his car with rice and sugar, so that the poor people could share from the wealth of the people of the city. People would try discouraging him from going to do that, saying that it was such a long trip out. He would say, “I don’t mind the trip, because it gives me a chance to review my Qur’aan in the car, otherwise I’d listen to an Islamic tape in the car on my way there and on my way back.”

This is how this brother lived his life and this is how Allah Almighty chose to take his life. And this is how Allah Almighty brought life to other people that saw, heard and followed the story of this boy and were all guided because of him (Insha-Allah).

Stop for a moment and reflect! Ask yourself, “Am I living the life of ‘La ilaha illallah?” If not, how do I expect to die upon it?

Taken from: IQRA

Do What I Say Not What I Do?

How many of us actually do what we tell our children to do? I would guess not many.

For example, I have heard women in my family tell their children not to curse. Then, as soon as the father or uncle or even the mom is upset with something they will blurt out words that would make a sailor blush. Another example? Ok, Parents who encourage their children to fast, pray, give in charity, wear hijab but yet the children never see their parents do any of these things. There are countless other examples but I think you get my point.

We are our children’s role models. Most of the time, our children seem to careless what we are doing or saying. Though, in reality, they are watching our every move. They are learning how we deal with confrontations, money, food, friendships, the way we worship, etc. just through our daily routine with them. The way we deal with these things will often have a lasting impression on our children. The way they deal with their future spouses and children may hinge on how we deal with our husbands/wives and our own children. Statistically speaking children who were abused are more likely to abuse their own children and children who witnessed spousal abuse are more likely to carry out the same with their spouses. Thus, the cycle continues. Now, there are some cases in which the children broke out of this cycle but many other cases where the children repeated their parent’s history.

It seems, at times, that we put so much emphasis on our children’s lives because we feel that we’ve missed our chance. Actually, you haven’t missed your chance. You haven’t turned out so bad that it can’t be fixed. As long as you have a breath in you, you are still living and capable of changing yourself and your situation. It may take some hard work, courage, determination, and depending on what you’ve done repentance but you can do it, insh’Allah(if Allah wills). We should never lose hope and think our lives are over because of some wrong turn. Instead we should get up and dust ourselves off and start again. We have to realize that we can’t live our lives through our kids. All we can do is try our best to help them turn out to be their own unique selves while following the Qur’an and Sunnah.

So, either we show them a good example by living it ourselves or we live in contradiction to what we want them to be and take that chance.

Visiting My Non-Muslim Father After Two Years

So, insh’Allah we are leaving this evening to visit my non muslim family. In particular we will be visiting my father. While I now have a respectful loving relationship with most of my family, I have not laid eyes on this man for two years. He hasn’t even seen my youngest son and has only seen the oldest once in person. I have sent him pictures of them but always have them returned. So, I am a bit nervous. I have kept in touch with him through letters, cards, and phone calls. He is not very responsive to my phone calls and usually I hear him tell his wife to say he’s not there. I guess they should invest in caller id ;). The truth is, since childhood I have not had a close relationship with my father. Everytime I would try to get close to him, I would be pushed away. However,I never felt the void of not having a father growing up.I was truly blessed to have a wonderful stepfather who treated me as his own.

I guess you are wondering, “so why go visit him now?” Well, My sister called me a few days ago and informed me that my father will be having a risky surgery this upcoming week. I tried to call but got the usual treatment. I was torn on whether to write him a letter and hope he gets it in time or ask my sister to pass him messages. Then, my husband came home. We had a long conversation and he convinced me to go see my father. He gently reminded me of the hadith:

`Abdullah bin `Amr Al-`as (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “The person who perfectly maintains the ties of kinship is not the one who does it because he gets recompensed by his relatives (for being kind and good to them), but the one who truly maintains the bonds of kinship is the one who persists in doing so even though the latter has severed the ties of kinship with him”.
[Al-Bukhari].

So, here I am now, trying to think what will I say when I see him, what will I wear, what will my kids wear, etc.  There is so much to be said(two years worth in fact) and so much that needs to be said . In the end, I have to wonder if I will end up driving the six hours just to get the door shut in my face.  It’s like meeting a stranger. Maybe it is like an adopted child meeting his long lost parents. The only thing I’m sure of is that,insh’Allah, I will put my complete trust in Allah and make dua for the best. For Allah is the Best Protector and Facilitator May Allah make it easy for us all and guide our non muslim families to Islam. ameen.

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: A man said to Messenger of Allah (PBUH): “I have relatives with whom I try to keep the ties of relationship but they sever relations with me; and whom I treat kindly but they treat me badly, I am gentle with them but they are rough to me.” He (PBUH) replied, “If you are as you say, it is as if you are feeding them hot ashes, and you will be with a supporter against them from Allah as long as you continue to do so”.
[Muslim].

Commentary (from riyad us saliheen): This Hadith has three important lessons:

First, the misbehaviour of one’s relative is no justification for the misbehaviour of another, let alone the severing of relations on that account.

Second, the person who treats his relatives nicely in all events and circumstances is blessed by Allah Who will send from heaven helpers to support him.

Third, the consequence of denying compassion and kindness to relatives is as woeful as the eating of hot ashes.

Children and TV: My Week without Television

I will be the first to admit that I have used my television as a babysitter. I would often try to get my children to sit there long enough to get dinner on the stove, to take my turn reading Arabic in the on-line class I attend,or just for a moment to myself. They would usually sit a couple minutes then be up again looking for something to do. The TV would be there for background noise.

Growing up, My family basically had 2 channels(well 3 if we could position the rabbit ears perfectly). I lived in an area that was not cable accessible. The only option was a satellite dish and my mother wasn’t keen on the idea. I spent my summers running around all day outside and would stay in Saturday for the morning cartoons. It seemed such a treat to be able to watch the cartoons every Saturday morning. So, naturally, I assumed, my kids would love to watch tv too.

So, a couple of weeks ago we were notified that our rental house has been sold. I thought we had a week to get out so I unhooked the television and packed it up to go. Well, our moving date kept changing due to maintenance issues in the new place. One day, my kids were being particularly rambunctious so I decided to hook the TV back up and try to get them to settle down for a few minutes. Well, I plugged it in and hooked the cable up. Then, I turned it on. The cable wouldn’t work. It was a blank screen. I tried everything and still couldn’t get it to work. So, I decided to have them “help me cook.” The next week was spent with no television and no DVDs. Instead of the TV more time was spent as a family unit. We spent more time playing outside together and doing crafts and other activities.

I have noticed in the past week without the television a major change in my kids. They don’t seem to fight with each other as much. Their attention spans have improved. Now, they actually can sit and focus while reading a book with no visuals or while giving them directions. Their overall mannerisms and behavior have gone a complete 180 for the better. I am pleasantly amazed.

So, it seems, in my quest to give my children everything that I thought I would have wanted as a child it has backfired. Perhaps, in doing so, I was depriving them of the one thing they really did need and want, me and more of my time and attention. Today, I was out and thought of buying a new tv. I hesitated and then walked away. I like my family better this way.

Now, don’t think I’m going on a rant saying television is evil and it’s the devil. Not at all, I realize some television in moderation can be educational for children. I am just sharing my experience of a week without television.

Abdullah ibn Umar t reported that he heard the Prophet Muhammad (saw)saying: “Every one of you is a guardian, and responsible for what is in his custody. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects and responsible for them; a husband is a guardian of his family and is responsible for it; a lady is a guardian of her husband’s house and is responsible for it, and a servant is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible for it. A man is a guardian of his father’s property and is responsible for it so all of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and things under your care).” (Bukhâri 3/592)

Abu Hurairah t narrated that Allah’ Messenger said, “When a man dies, accrual of merit in his favor from good deeds ceases except from three actions: 1. A charity which continues after his death; 2. Knowledge left behind from which men continue to benefit, and 3. Righteous offspring who pray for him.” (Muslim 4005)

Some cool craft websites(of course use your discretion as to picking out what is Islamic):

http://www.littlegiraffes.com/purple.html

http://www.activitypad.com/

http://www.kidsmedia.net/

http://www.kidsdomain.com/craft/

http://www.islamichomeeducation.co.uk/EDUCATIONAL%20ACTIVITIES%20FOR%20CHILDREN.htm

What Do You Believe?

Have you ever been out and heard: “Excuse me, Are you a Muslim? What do you believe?” The last question often catches even the most knowledgeable Muslims off guard. They may start going into a long lecture about the importance of prayer and the prohibitions of drinking alcohol and then delve off into debating politics. The questioner is often left with a confused expression and doesn’t remember a word you said.

The Prophet(saw) had a method for giving da’wah(calling to Islam). His original message was simple tawheed (oneness of Allah) and Aqeedah(belief in Allah, angels, messengers, books, day of judgement and qadr) After that came the laws and prohibitions. What better method to follow?

Narrated Yusuf bin Mahk: While I was with Aisha, the mother of the Believers, a person from Iraq came and asked, “What type of shroud is the best?” ‘Aisha said, “May Allah be merciful to you! What does it matter?” He said, “O mother of the Believers! Show me (the copy of) your Qur’an,” She said, “Why?” He said, “In order to compile and arrange the Qur’an according to it, for people recite it with its Suras not in proper order.” ‘Aisha said, “What does it matter which part of it you read first? (Be informed) that the first thing that was revealed thereof was a Sura from Al-Mufassal, and in it was mentioned Paradise and the Fire. When the people embraced Islam, the Verses regarding legal and illegal things were revealed. If the first thing to be revealed was: ‘Do not drink alcoholic drinks.’ people would have said, ‘We will never leave alcoholic drinks,’ and if there had been revealed, ‘Do not commit illegal sexual intercourse, ‘they would have said, ‘We will never give up illegal sexual intercourse.’ While I was a young girl of playing age, the following Verse was revealed in Mecca to Muhammad: ‘Nay! But the Hour is their appointed time (for their full recompense), and the Hour will be more grievous and more bitter.’ (54.46) Sura Al-Baqara (The Cow) and Surat An-Nisa (The Women) were revealed while I was with him.” Then ‘Aisha took out the copy of the Qur’an for the man and dictated to him the Verses of the Suras (in their proper order) . (Bukhari, Book #61, Hadith #515)

Narrated Abu Ma’bad,: Allah’s Apostle said to Muadh when he sent him to yemen, “You will go to the people of the Scripture. So, when you reach there, invite them to testify that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah, and that Muhammad is His Apostle. And if they obey you in that, tell them that Allah has enjoined on them five prayers in each day and night. And if they obey you in that tell them that Allah has made it obligatory on them to pay the Zakat which will be taken from the rich among them and given to the poor among them. If they obey you in that, then avoid taking the best of their possessions, and be afraid of the curse of an oppressed person because there is no screen between his invocation and Allah.” (Bukhari,Book #24, Hadith #573)

Although, there is nothing wrong with answering their questions related to the obligations. The first priority is the basic shahada. To inform them that there is No God but Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. So, often, we stumble over our words and end up in some kind of debate about the prohibited things in Islam, women’s rights, and politics. A debate which may have not happened had we been smart and followed the Prophet’s example. Perhaps, the simplest way to answer the question would be:

I believe that there is only One god (Allah) with no partners and I worship Him the way He has taught us.
I believe that Muhammad (Saw) was the final messenger of Allah.
I believe in All the books of Allah and that the Quran was the final revelation and the only one kept complete until this day.
I believe in All Allah’s Messengers such as Jesus(peace be upon him) and knowing the Muhammad was the seal of the Prophets
I believe in the Angels and all that Allah and His Prophet has told us about them and their duties.
I beleive in the Day of Judgement and all that Allah and His prophet has told us about it.
I believe in the Decree of Allah, that Allah knows all that is going to happen and has happened and that nothing happens without the Will or Decree of Allah.

After this, it would be good to invite them to visit a local masjid or give them the address to an Islamic website(I suggest http://www.whyislam.org). If you feel that you are knowledgeable enough you could also tell them that you would be happy to answer their basic questions. Don’t be afraid to say you don’t know. It is far better to tell someone that you don’t know an answer and refer them to someone who does know than to give incorrect information.

The Prophet(saw) said: Lying on me is not like lying on anyone else, whoever lies on me let him take his seat in Hell. When asked how they lie on the Prophet(saw) the response was by (intentionally)attributing things to him that he didn’t say. (Bukhari)

Debating is immature. It only reinforces their feelings that all Muslims are ill mannered and eager to argue. So, skip this and save your dignity,insh’Allah.           

Remember the best da’wah comes  from your mannerisms and interactions with people.

Any truth here is from Allah and any mistakes are from me and Shaytan.

The Epidemic of Adultery

Why is cheating so alluring? These days you see celebrities left and right cheating on their spouses. Cheating isn’t reserved solely for the celebs though. In fact, this phenomenon is so common that they even have an infidelity home testing kit available now. It is a worldwide epidemic that has been raging since the earliest centuries of mankind.An epidemic that has not left the Muslim world unaffected.

Why would a Muslim want to cheat anyway? For the man he can have up to four wives. By the way contrary to popular belief Islam did not institute the practice of polygamy. Check out the bible:

King Solomon is said to have had 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3) Also, king David is said to have had many wives and concubines (2 Samuel 5:13).

Islam simply limited the number and put a few conditions with it such as fairness, equality, etc. Contradict this to today’s christian sects which abuse polygamy in most cases.

“If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one” (Quran 4:3).

“You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e., neither divorced nor married). And if you do justice, and do all that is right and fear Allaah by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allaah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [al-Nisaa’ 4:129]

the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in the hadeeth narrated by Abu Hurayrah: “Whoever has two wives and gives one of them preferential treatment, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with half of his body leaning.” (Narrated by Abu Dawud, 2/601; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6491).

“Live with them (your wives) on a footing of kindness and equity. If you dislike them it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed a great deal of good” (Quran 4:19).

” A believing man must not hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her traits he will be pleased with another” (Muslim).

For the woman if she has a reason to not want to be in the marriage then she can get a divorce. Ok, so now you are probably thinking, “What is this sister promoting divorce?” The answer is, “no, no, no.” All I’m saying is that Islam gives the woman the option to divorce if she has a valid reason. The woman’s divorce must be obtained by going to the Imam and presenting her case before him. The key word is “valid reason.” If you don’t have a valid reason the Prophet(saw) said: Any woman who divorces for no reason will not smell the fragrance of paradise…(Ahmed).

Look at these examples of sahabi(Muslim women living in the time of the Prophet(saw)).

Yahya related. to me from Malik from Yahya ibn Said that Amra bint Abd ar-Rahman told him from Habiba bint Sahl al-Ansari that she had been the wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shammas. The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, went out for the dawn prayer, and found Habiba bint Sahl at his door in the darkness. The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said to her, “Who is this?” She said, “I am Habiba bint Sahl, Messenger of Allah.” He said, “What do you want?” She said, “That Thabit ibn Qays and I separate.” When her husband, Thabit ibn Qays came, the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said to him, “This is Habiba bint Sahl. She mentioned what Allah willed that she mention.” Habiba said, “Messenger of Allah, all that he has given me is with me!” The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said to Thabit ibn Qays, “Take it from her,” and he took it from her, and she stayed in the house of her family.

Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas: The wife of Thabit bin Qais came to the Prophet and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! I do not blame Thabit for defects in his character or his religion, but I, being a Muslim, dislike to behave in un-Islamic manner (if I remain with him).” On that Allah’s Apostle said (to her), “Will you give back the garden which your husband has given you (as Mahr)?” She said, “Yes.” Then the Prophet said to Thabit, “O Thabit! Accept your garden, and divorce her once.” (Bukhari Book #63, Hadith #197)

Other religions however, don’t give the woman the right to divorce. Oh, the secular nations give the woman the right but not their religion.  It is a horrific shame that the Muslim countries are the ones who end up denying the woman her rights that Islam specifically gave her centuries before the western world caught up. But that is another topic for another time.

In Islam the person who cheats (MAN OR WOMAN) in Islamic countries would have a severe punishment. This is the case in every religion. Islam didn’t invent punishment for adultery or fornication.

If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel” (Deut. 22:22).

“If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death” (Lev. 20:10).

“And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way (that leads to Hell unless Allaah forgives)” [al-Israa’ 17:32]

“And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment”
[al-Furqaan 25:68]

Ubadah ibn as-Samith t (Radhiallahu anhu, meaning: May Allah I be pleased with him) narrated that Allah’s Messengerr said: “Receive (teaching) from me, receive (teaching) from me. Allah has ordained a way for those (women). When an unmarried male commits adultery with an unmarried female (they should receive) one hundred lashes and banishment for one youar. And in case of married male committing adultery with a married female, they shall receive one hundred lashes and be stoned to death.” (Muslim, Hadith 4191)

 

Remember though, to convict a pair of adultery there must be four witnesses.

 

“And those who launch a charge against chaste women, and produce not four witnesses (to support their allegations), flog them with 80 stripes; and reject their evidence ever after: for such men are wicked transgressors.” (Qur’an 24:4)

Or if the husband or wife catches the other one cheating and is unable to produce four witnesses then they may do lian(mutual swearing). For more information on this see Maliks Muwatta: Chapter on divorce.

As you can see In Islam there is a clear solution for the problem of infidelity facing the world today. A problem that indeed spreads many diseases and erodes the moral fabrics of society. Diseases such as: HIV/AIDS and venereal disease. Perhaps a far greater side effect of infidelity is the fact that families are ripped apart, trust is lost, and the person’s reputation is ruined. May Allah save all the Muslims from this. ameen.

1 in 1000: The Only Muslim in Town

Being the only Muslim woman in town is lonely. You feel like you would love some sisters to invite to tea or to share your experiences with, to go shopping with. You long to be able to just jump in your car and drive minutes to the Masjid. You can join as many online women’s groups as you like and  it will help fill in the gap some; Although, you will still be left wanting, more. Online relationships are one thing but a tangible person sitting with you, talking with you, laughing and sharing with you is, well, real.

When I first converted to Islam I was in this very situation. The whole town consisted of maybe a thousand people and I was the talk of the town. Every outing I made was a spectacle. You could see all the other women whispering and staring. The men glaring. At the time it was more or less hurtful. Though, looking back now I can find humor in it.

I had many instances of people thinking I am a foreigner. For some reason, the hijab automatically makes people assume you are foreign. 😉 They would be amazed at my grasp on the English language and probably thought I was a genius for getting their dialect down perfectly.

During my years spent in small town, America I realized just how cruel some people could be and at the same time how beautiful and open people can be. You see some days I would go out and get a smile and a conversation. Somedays, I would get people who were honestly just curious about me and my way of life.I figured it was the will of Allah that I landed in this town as the only Muslimah. Ultimatley, I began to open up more to the non Muslim women in my neighborhood. I began to take them small gifts and when I did I noticed something amazing. I came to realize that being the only Muslim in town could be an excellent opportunity for da’wah (educating and calling to Islam) if you embrace it. I realized that instead of sitting in my house alone, pouting because I couldn’t find any Muslimah friends, that I should just go out and try to make the best of it.

Only after I came to this realization and began interacting with my community did I learn of four other Muslim families in the next town over. Mash’Allah, after all this time searching, once I came to terms with my situation, I found the Muslim women. I’m sure that it happend this way for a reason. I did begin going for brunches and teas with these Muslim women. We would sit and talk and go shopping. It was every bit as wonderful as I had imagined. However, I continued my involvement in the community and continued having the non Muslims for lunch or taking them cookies or small gifts as well. So, then I realized that I had double the pleasure. I had the pleasure of dispelling some of the myths related to Muslim woman plus I had my Muslim sisters to go to for support.

Insh’Allah, when we moved away from that small mountain community we left more people who were educated about Islam than when we arrived. That is a great accomplishment and one that does not come without the Decree of Allah. May Allah guide us all. ameen.